As long time followers of my blog know, I currently help raise my adopted 2 1/2 year old niece Baby B. For those who don’t know the background here is a short(ish) run down:
Baby B is biologically a distant cousin, her bio-grandpa & I are 1st cousins. J is Baby B’s bio-mom. J has 2 children Big B, a soon to be 5 year old, and Baby B who will be 3 in July. J has struggled for years with minor mental health issues, drugs & alcohol use. She bounced between homes until the age of 12, when her Aunt G & Uncle JH took her in permanently. J’s Mom died of an overdose when she was 15. Her Dad is getting ready to go back to prison AGAIN, he has spent most of her life there. G & JH agreed to take Big B at the end of 2010 so that J could get her life together.
May 2012, J approached my sister & I and asked if we would let her move in with us, and try to get her life together and reclaim Big B. We agreed that she could move in with us with the understanding that she would get a good job, pay rent and save money. She went to work as a door girl for a strip club. Not exactly what we had in mind. We discovered she was pregnant in January of 2013.
Many lies, missed doctor appointments and men later Baby B was born in July. CPS was at our front door within hours of leaving the hospital with Baby B, a premmie weighing less then 5 lbs.. J walked way from us & Baby B 3 weeks later. 6 weeks later my sister & I were awarded Guardianship of Baby B. In January of2014 J agreed to terminate her parental rights to both Big B & Baby B. G & JH adopted Big B, and in June 2014 my sister K adopted Baby B.
J never made any claims to Baby B. She never posted pictures on Facebook, never called and asked about her, nothing. Big B is the only one she has made any attempts to contact or see. J didn’t see Baby B from the end of July 2013 until October of 2014. Never once in that time did she call or ask or anything. In October of 2014, she expressed dismay and seemed upset that Baby B didn’t know who she was, and called herself “Mommy” and wants a non-walking Baby B to be a flower girl at J’s upcoming wedding.which never happened.
Fast forward another 14 months. J showed up at church in the middle of December. She is with a new “mature” man(25 years her senior) and getting her act together. She looks better in pictures on Facebook then she has in more then a year. J claims to be clean. G & JH allow J to come and visit Big B on Christmas.
SO…J only posts fish-face selfies on Facebook unless she is breaking up with a guy, then we see tons of “You can’t get me down” or “You can’t break me” meme posts. She started up those posts again last week. Tonight her relationship status changed from “In a Relationship” to being blank, and all of the pictures of her and the current guy have been pulled down.
Out of curiosity, mainly because I hadn’t bothered before, I went and looked at the man’s profile. I discovered why they are no longer in a relationship. Apparently, part of their arrangement was no drugs & no lies. He suspected her of using and gave her a drug test. She tested positive for Meth. He posted it on Facebook in the hopes that she might have sober friends who would be willing to help her out.
I’m sad on so many different levels for J and the girls. Because of her choices, J has missed 2 1/2 years of Baby B’s life. I don’t know if she even looks at her pictures on Facebook, she has remained my “friend” on Facebook so I know she can see them. So much sadness and loss all around.