, , , , , , , ,

Yeah, Life sucks.  I’m not currently willing to make the changes needed to make life NOT suck, so yippee for me.

Sorry folks, I’m having a poor pitiful me night and you are getting the brunt of it.

I feel like I’m failing at life.  I’m soon to be 40, perpetually single and celibate.  I some how went from having 4 cats to having 13.  I have no college degree because I never thought 40 would really happen to me.

College at 40 is scary…no retirement or savings at 40 is scary too.

Failure is my keyword/feeling tonight.

When i had weight loss surgery back in June I knew I would be a slow loser…I just didn’t realize it would be THIS slow.  I’m 6 months out and I’m only down 64 pounds.  Other women who had surgery after me are down 80-120 pounds already…some in just a matter of 3-4 months.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am SO truly happy for them!!  I’m just feeling sad for me.

I’m trying to ignore all of the bad food in my house, even though all I want to do is go and dig into the box of Little Debbie’s I KNOW are in the kitchen…or eat the Gelato that is in the freezer.

Life would be better if a lot of things happened…but mostly if I lived closer to any of my BFFs!!!  Having face to face quality time with 2 of them in the last few weeks has made me realize how isolated and cut off I really am.

I would move to WA to be closer to my friends C & J in a heartbeat if I thought I would be able to support myself up there…and if I wouldn’t be debilitated by guilt for leaving my aging parents and Baby B.  I can’t leave B behind and I can’t legally take her with me…so I stay praying for a way to make all of us happy.