On Thursday I got an S.O.S “Please Pray for Us” message from my dear friend C. She and her husband have adopted a teenage girl from Asia, and things have not been going as smoothly has they had hoped. C’s husband had to take a business trip and she wasn’t sure how she would be able to deal with the challenging behavior alone.
I offered to head to the West Coast and help out if I could, and on Friday evening I got a text message saying “Please!” So I jumped on a flight Saturday morning and headed West.
I’ve spent the last 3 days with C & her new daughter CR. It’s been a very nice time, I’m the first overnight house guest they have had since bringing CR home this summer.
I think CR has been on her best behavior because I’m here. There have been a few moments when she got frustrated and started to shut down or get a bit aggressive and I wanted to step in and say “NO, NOT ACCEPTABLE”. I tried to help redirect her and/or just bit my tongue several times, trying to remind myself that 1: She isn’t my daughter and mainly 2: She is from a very different culture and things that I find offensive or rude are not in her culture.
Adoption is hard on so many different levels for all involved. I think older child adoption is even more so.
I love my friends dearly, and in turn I will come to love their daughter. Right now my heart just aches for them, as the struggle to bond and try to teach their daughter that is okay and safe to love and be loved by a new family.
For those of you who are Spiritual and pray, please keep this Family in your prayers!