Since I can no longer eat my stress away, I’ve got to get back onto a stress management program of some kind. I would rather not go back onto any kind of anti-depressant or anti-animosity meds (ok that really should have said anxiety, but it auto-corrected to animosity and I liked it! lol)
Stress management is of uber importance right now because my stress level has always been at a high level but now we are headed into Defcon 1 territory. K is even more psycho then before and I am the target for 95% of her crazy.
She almost ran me over with the car yesterday…no I’m not kidding. She got angry with me on the way to the gym because I refused to rearrange my work schedule to fit her need of social outings during the week. Because if this I am “the most fucking egotistical, narcissitic bitch in the world”. Since I was “exiling her at home” all week while I WORK , she demanded the car keys so that she could “do something” while she had the chance. I gave her the car keys and went to get my gym gear out of the back. She yells at me “you have 6 seconds to get your shit and get out of my way” and proceeds to count down to 6 and then puts the car in reverse. I got out of the way in time, but I have no doubt she would have bumped me with the car.
This is just a small example of my current life with K…there are times when I think that the only explanation for my life is that of Karma and Reincarnation…I was an exceedingly bad person in my past life and it is now my trial to be a better person in this life by having to deal with K.
So..I am going to be doing some early morning water aerobics sans K, and some yoga once or twice a week. My gym offers a special yoga class specifically for PTSD, Trauma, Anxiety & High Stress! I’m going to try and go to that one for sure…assuming I can get away from the house on that night. If not there are a couple of other beginner yoga classes I can take. I’ve never taken a yoga class before, it has always been something that I have done in the privacy of my own home…so that will be different. Hoping I can deal with my self doubt and body issues.