Today was a rough day.  K is…well…her normal hair trigger is hairier than normal.  I’m at my wits end.  I just don’t know how to deal with her any more.  Having surgery and all the extra hormones that the fat is releasing is making me peevish for sure.  I am not my normal placid laid back self right now.  I am wound tighter than normal.  All of the snide comments, the rude gestures, and barbed attacks are wearing me down.

Last week we laid out almost $1600 for gym memberships for a year.  We have been twice so far.  While the gym is open 4:30am-10:30pm M-F, the daycare is not.  So finding a time when we can both go is challenging. Yet I can’t go alone.  If I go without her than I’m “isolating” and “exiling” her…No, I”m just going to work an hour early!!!

Today, as I said was a rough day, we took a financial hit(completely my fault), my clients were in a bad mood too, so I had to be all smiles and happy for them, We got half way to the gym and had to turn around and go home so I could make an emergency trip to my parents before I headed to work(my emergency not theirs).  I didn’t get off work until 9pm.

During my THIRD phone call with K in less than 2 hours, I asked “Do you want me to hurry home so you can go to the gym before they close?” Her response was “NO”.  So during our FOURTH phone call I said “Depending on how tired I am when I come through town, I may stop at the gym and swim a few laps.” Her response? “Whatever, I don’t give a damn, do what ever in the hell you want to, you always do anyway” and hung up the phone on me.

Two options: 1. Stop at the gym and deal with the continued snide comments and inevitable fight(fight=me standing with a vague/bored expressing as she yells, rants & raves about the horror that I have made her life) or 2. Come straight home and hopefully just have to deal with the snide/hateful comments.  Being a somewhat intelligent person I came straight home.

Monday night there is a special yoga class at the Gym for people dealing with PTSD, Anxiety, Abuse & High Stress levels.  I think I will be attending the class!  I’m not just physically drained, I’m emotionally/mentally drained too.

Sweet Dreams everyone!  Tomorrow has to be a better day! (right??)

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