African, Africian American, anti-bullying, Black, bullied, bully, Colored, Intellectual Disabilities. Coping Skills, Mental Retardation, Negro, Parenting, Parents, PC, Politically Correct, Retard, Retarded, Teenagers
It seems that these days if you aren’t uber PC you are somehow a backwards, uneducated country bumpkin who needs to be enlightened as to what is acceptable to say, think or feel.
A few weeks ago I posted one of those silly memes on Facebook that cast liberal Obama supporters in a less than stellar light. I try not to stoop to that level very often…but I just couldn’t help that one. Immediately one of my friends, who supports everything that could possibly need supporting, popped up and said something to the effect of “You need to get out of the woods and get an education. Stop being such a hillbilly and join the “TRUE” side of things” I just laughed at her. I am FAR from uneducated. I’ve successfully attended Ivy League level Universities, I have enough credits to have several degrees. I just never cared enough to finish one off. But it made me think 🙂
Isn’t the whole point of living in the AMAZING Country being able to think and feel and say what I WANT to say without fear of Government, and supposedly personal, reprisal? We have become a society of people who are afraid to say what we really think and feel because of how other people will react and in turn feel about us. We have become so concern about hurt feelings and our own image that we are afraid to be our true selves. We parrot whatever the current party line is, and then put on sack cloth and ashes and scream and cry “Whoa is ME!” when everything starts to crumble around us.
So, please allow me to rant for a few minutes on some of the PC terms or issues that just rub me the wrong way:
STOP THE ‘R’ WORD: I work with clients who have some form of “Mental Retardation” except we can no longer use the word retarded in ANY form. Not even as a diagnosis any more. Now my clients have “Intellectual & Developmental Disabilities”. I’m sorry there is a HUGE different between calling a person a “Retard” or “Retarded” in a derogatory manner and using the term “Mental Retardation” But some mom somewhere got upset because she felt her child was being picked on or labeled(oh the horror) and now we have a HUGE campaign to “Stop the R word”…Now my intake meetings take an extra 20 minutes because we have to discuss what KIND of IDD the new client has instead of just being able to look at the diagnosis list and see for example “Moderate Mental Retardation” and “Cerebral Palsy” I know that Moderate MR means an IQ under 75 and able to function on the level of at least a 5 year old child(eat, dress themselves etc). Now we have to go through and be told because IDD can be everything from someone who is slightly below the average IQ of 90 to someone who has zero higher brain functions. Thank you so much for making my life easier. In no way does changing all of my forms and diagnosis codes stop someone from calling your child a “retard”. There are always going to be people who feel the need to belittle and put other people down. Work on getting some coping skills and move on with your life!
AFRICAN-AMERICAN: This term really bugs me..unless you are going to start referring to me as a European-American, enough is enough. If you or your parents did not come directly from the continent of Africa you are NOT an African-American. You may be a Kenyan-American, a Nigerian-American, a Congolese-American etc. If you don’t like any of the other terms out there that have been used in the past to describe your racial origins PICK A NEW ONE! I have a lot of amazing friends of “Color” (ok that one slightly bugs me, but not in the same way) and with the exception of ONE(you know who you are lol) they all scoff at the term and refer to themselves as simply “Black” or “Colored” depending on their age. I find it funny, that all of my friends who actually could claim to be “African-Americans” choose not to use to term at all, they simply wish to be AMERICANS.
ANTI-BULLYING: I’m almost afraid to type this one..but in for a penny, in for a pound eh? Let me start this section by say this:My heart felt sympathy goes out to all families who have lost children to suicide! Losing a child is never easy, I can hardly imagine what it would be like.
That said…There are multiple types of bullies, and bully situations. Having been both the Bully and Bullied, I can see both sides and to be honest I can’t help but feel like this is a parenting problem not an “everyone get on board and have a fundraiser” issue. We need to raise children to deal with conflict and the reality that not everyone gets along. My parents did everything in their power to deal with my being bullied. They taught ME coping skills and techniques to help me deal with the problem. They picked up on the signs of my distress and dealt with it. If we had needed to they would have moved, changed schools etc. to fix the issue. Luckily I was able to deal with the problem on my own eventually(AFTER I learned those coping skills!). When I became a Bully, again my parents dealt with it! I got my butt spanked, and I apologized to mother of the boy I bullied(I refused to apologize to him as he was a Bully too) and had to write an essay as to what was wrong with what I did to J.A. For the record I held down the school Bully(7th grader) and let a 2nd grade little girl who was COMPLETELY in love with him, kiss him on each cheek. Be a PARENT! Be INVOLVED in your kids life, even your moody teenager!! An involved parent KNOWS when something is going on with their kid and they figure it out. Don’t try to hand off the problem to me to fix.
I’d better call it a night. I’m probably going to get a chewing over this as it is! But I’m a big girl, in all meanings of the word, and I can COPE with it!!