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We started a week long Revival at our little Church last night.  Our new Pastor, Alden Ho, is holding the series.  I was a bit leery about committing to attend the meetings as it means an extra $100 in gas money this week to drive over and back every night, but K(my sister) & I decided to commit. The first message was very good, and I’m looking forward to going back tonight.

I have felt moved for a several months that I need to renew myself spiritually, and be more than I am now…and I’ve struggled with what that really means and how to achieve it.  And then last night Pastor Ho made 3 separate altar calls for different things.  The first call he made was for people who had been away from the church body for a time, perhaps living “OF” the world, or perhaps simply not being part of a fellowship of believers for a long time to come forward and say “I want to get things in order and be a part of the fellowship again”.  The second call was for people who had been a part of the fellowship, but perhaps not doing everything the way they knew they needed to be doing it.  And finally the last call for for those who felt they were doing as they needed to be doing to pray and be open to the Spirit to work through them.  I felt moved to answer the first one.

I know I shocked my family that I got up and went forward…I shocked myself a bit too.  I HATE Altar calls.  I have always felt they are tacky and emotionally manipulative.  I struggled with that last night, but Pastor Ho’s appeal didn’t feel cheesy like many of them do, and there was no heart rending music playing, just words and our own thoughts.  I don’t know that I was exactly the kind of person he meant to reach with his first appeal, but I felt moved to go.

When I think of “straying” from the Church I don’t think of myself.  And while I might not have strayed from the doctrines of the Church I have physically strayed.  Over the last few years it has been easier and easier to just stay away from Church.  At first it was physical, I was both emotionally and physically drained and the thought of getting up and driving 40 minutes to attend Church was just too much.  Then it became more emotional/political in nature.  I disagreed with some of the things going on in the Church and since I felt I had no control or power to make them change it was simply easier to stay away.

And since Control has always been one of my big ‘issues’ I’ve stayed away from Church for quite a while.  And since no one called or text’d or emailed I figured they didn’t care either, so it became much easier to just do my own thing on Sabbath than make the effort to go to a Church services I knew I wasn’t going to enjoy or like.

SO…last night I stood up and said that was going to change.  I’m committing myself to attending church regularly again and becoming part of the Fellowship if they want me or not 🙂 lol