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For the first time in two years I’ve got a true chest cold/flu. The first one since I had my pulmonary embolism in 2011. All evening all I’ve been fighting off panic attacks and waves of irrational fear. It’s a fight with myself.

I remember, this is exactly how it felt.

It’s okay. This is just a chest cold, take your medicine, drink lots of water and you will feel better in a day or two.

But, this is almost exactly two years to the day when my symptoms started. I ignored them and almost died!

Don’t over react, your body doesn’t know it’s been two years exactly since that Pill made you so sick.

PANIC! My calf hurts, my calf hurts, I’ve got a blood clot in my leg, It’s going to move up my body. I CAN’T BREATHE!!

STAY CALM!(I’m THE Doctor)This is NOT a blood clot, it’s McCoy. He is in desperate need of a nail trim.

Are you sure? I remember, this is exactly how it felt…

My hands are ice cold, I’m shaking and it’s hard to tell why. Is it fever, just cold, or my over active nerves? It’s most likely completely irractional, but tonight I will sleep, or at least try, sitting up with all my pillows surrounded my furry buddies. Just in case.